My doctor stepped out of the room after giving me his number in case I had any questions. I sat there for what seemed like forever with tears rolling down my face, I look to my friend and tell her “I can’t tell my mom”. “You have to tell her” she says. “I can’t, she can’t handle this right now. Dad just met with the neurologist the other day.” I told her that I would tell her, but now just isn’t a good time. 

    After leaving the doctor’s office I called my sister to let her know I was on my way to her house. When I got there I sat down with her and my brother in law.  I gave them the news & my brother in law says, “Your mom can’t handle this right now.” I agreed & we all came to the conclusion that until I knew exactly what was going on and what my treatment plan would be that we would not be sharing this news with my parents.

    My mother in law had called when I was on my way to my sister’s to see how my appointment went. I gave her the news & since she was semi retired she told me that she would do all of the research for me so that I wouldn’t have to stress about it. She was an attorney so she is used to hitting the books and doing all the necessary research, she had also taken care of everything when her mother had Pancreatic Cancer. She was a blessing to me because Lord knows that I was not going to be able to handle all this stress. She then began compiling a long list of questions for the doctors as well as looking into different oncologists & hospitals up and down the east coast to better suit my needs.

    When I got home that evening I went upstairs and drew a bath, I needed something to settle me. My boy friend was still at work, again it was the last day of the month, I hadn’t told him yet. I wanted to tell him in person, I really wished he could have been there at my appointment with me. When he got home I was still in the tub trying to relax. I had him come in and sit down, I gave him the news and he tried to tell me I probably misunderstood its probably just precancerous. I explained that the lab here had come to their conclusion as to what it was but that they sent the pathology up to Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston to have their lead Pathologist take a look at it to confirm their findings. As of right now I was told it was Vulvar Cancer but they did not know what kind or what stage. The scheduling department would be reaching out to me in the next day or so to set up an appointment with a Gynecological Oncologist.

    The next day was a Thursday and I received the call to meet with the Gynecological Oncologist on Monday. My mother in law had planned to go with us to this appointment but had another obligation. I called my aunt (mother’s sister), I explained to her what was going on and asked her to keep this secret for me. She didn’t approve of me keeping this from my mom but agreed. I asked her if she would come to my appointment with me, that I really wished that I could have my mom there but I knew that it wasn’t something she could handle yet without any answers. Being my god mother, she was the next best thing. 

    Monday came and my aunt met us at the Cancer Center in Charlotte. The Oncologist came in and introduced himself. Everyone then stepped out of the room for me to undress & put on a gown. The doctor came back in to examine the area where my OB/GYN had made his incision and removed what he could of the mass. This doctor couldn’t even see where my OB/GYN had made his incision, this should have been my first clue. He agreed that it was healing nicely and took some photos for my medical records. He explained that because he did not yet have my final pathology report that he basically had no information for me. He wasn’t able to answer any of my questions as few as there were at the time. He decided that I needed a Pelvic MRI & scheduled another appointment with him for the following Monday, the scheduling department would call me for the MRI. At this appointment he would hopefully have the both the results of the MRI and final pathology report. 

    Unsatisfied with this appointment I called my OB/GYN the next day asking when my final pathology results would be in. I had to leave a message hoping to hear from him soon. All I knew is what was at the bottom of my paperwork which read, Vulvar Cancer/Vulvar Mass.